Doctor Enjolras' Sing-Along Blog
by Rebellicade
Summary: "The world is a mess, and I just need to rule it." Being a villain who's friends with a girl who's all for seeing the good in people, who just so happens to be in love with your nemesis is never a good idea. /Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog AU.


_rebellicade productions  
presents_

Aaron Tveit  
Eddie Redmayne  
Samantha Barks

and

Killian Donnelly

in

**Dr. Enjolras' Sing-Along Blog**

_(you can sing in your head if you like)_

* * *

**ACT ONE**

It was a dark room, there were a bunch of wires and tubes in the background with different colored liquids in different containers of all shapes and sizes. The only source of light would be the flickering lamp from the top, which was swinging back and forth slowly, and the tiny window that was nearly covered by all the equipment. One would notice all that in the background of the video, but the evil laugh was distracting.

The laugh wasn't that impressive. Neither was the costume. A white coat and grey goggles pushed up the speaker's head, as well as grey gloves. One wouldn't say this man was evil, he looked too young and quite frankly, _lame _for that. It was rather pitiful, his evil laugh. And any viewer would realize they could do a better one.

"The evil laugh's coming along. I'm working with a vocal coach, his name's Valjean, strengthening the–" he interrupted himself, "I mean, you need a good evil laugh if you want to get into the Evil League of Evil. What? You don't think Lamarque didn't practice his? His terrible, death laugh..." By then, a viewer would realize that maybe the young man _was_ crazy.

He continued. "No response from the League, yet, by the way." he said, "But my application is _strong _this year. I have a condemnation letter from _Inspector Javert _so that's gotta be worth something." He shifted in his place awkwardly.

"Emails!" he proclaimed, smiling a little not-so enthusiastically. "24601 writes _Hey, genius_." The sarcasm wasn't obvious to him, but obvious to any viewer of his vlog, despite it being through the internet. "Thank you, by the way." he said, genuinely grateful, "_Where is the bread you were supposed to steal from that bakery the other day with your transmatter ray?_

"Okay so I was only able to steal _one_ _loaf_ of bread but behold!" A ziploc with something that looks like dirt was raised by his left arm. "Ta-da!" He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "The molecules tend to shift during the transmatter, uh, event. But they were transported in loaf form! Besides, it's not about eating bread, it's about taking bread. Destroying the status quo. Because the status is not quo. The world is a mess and I just need to _rule_ it._"_

"Next email!" he announced, "Now this email is from our dear friend, Feuilly Snow. Foo-ey? Fwee? How do you even pronounce that?" he asked himself, "Anyway, _Doctor Enjolras. I see you are once again afraid to do battle with your nemesis. I was waiting by the Café Musain for forty five minutes." _'Doctor Enjolras' stopped himself. "Dude. First off, if you want to be a hero, get a name people know how to pronounce. Like Johnny or something. Second, there are _kids _near the Musain, so... And third, you are _not _my nemesis. My nemesis is Captain Marius." he said, matter-of-factly, looking straight at the camera.

"He has a picture of a hammer on his shirt, which is kind of stupid. Shouldn't he be Captain Hammer? Except, he already is a corporate tool." he said, "No, wait, he's too lame for that. You know he keeps on ranting about how he doesn't have a girlfriend ever since that Annette girl, or whatever her name was, moved. Ugh. Look, I'm just trying to change the world, okay? I don't have time for matches with a Polish poser in a parka."

He got another printed out email from the short pile next to him. "Okay, next is from _red&black_. _Long time watcher, first time writer. _Blah, blah, blah... _You always say that you're going to show_ her _the way. Show her that you are a true villain. Who is _her_ and does she even know that you're..._"

He trailed off, and turned to look at the camera, his mouth opening and closing but no sound coming out.

The video abruptly ends.

* * *

Coffee day, see her there, barista's grumbling.

It was the same routine every time he went to the Café Musain. He'd swear on his life that the coffee they had there was better than Starbucks, so he made it a habit to go there at least once a week. A month into his routine, she arrived. They called her Époninen and she was almost always wearing this big brown coat that looked like it didn't belong to her, because it had to be at least a size bigger than hers. She's there again that day, of course.

He never really noticed her there before, but he knew that she was always just around because eidetic memory came in handy like that. One day, though, he dropped his pen and he needed to bend down to pick it up, and when he did, he noticed that she was reading _Candide, ou l'Optimisme. _Normally, he would've assumed that she was jsut reading it because it was a requirement, but then it struck him. It was in French.

"Nice book." he mumbled, but it was nearly incomprehensible and she didn't look up, as if she didn't hear him. He let out a quick sigh and turned back his attention to the sketch of the freeze ray in front of him. It would stop the world, which reminded him he didn't have time for petty things like friends.

_Anyways._

That was the first time he talked to her, and the last time for a while.

* * *

He felt like a failure. A stupid, pathetic failure. He built a _transmatter ray _for crying out loud! And he couldn't build something like a freeze ray because he so happened to have majority of the chemicals in his possession, except for the one he needed. Wonderflonium!_  
_

The unlocking of the door snapped him out of his thoughts. "'Ferre!" he exclaimed upon seeing who it was, "My evil, moisture buddy. How's life?"

Combeferre was his name, but Enjolras called him Ferre. He was the treasurer of the Henchmen Organization, and had the power of making things moist. He had light brown hair in a kind of dorky haircut, and dark brown eyes. "Same old, same old." he said in reply to his earlier question, handing Enjolras the mail.

"Didn't you go on a date last night? Courf told me that you were out with Turnette." He immediately dropped the moist pile of letters on the desk and shook his hand as if to get off the weird moist feeling. Ferre nodded. "And?"

"It went _okay_." Ferre shrugged. Enjolras noticed a letter in the pile and he could recognize that seal anywhere, even if it was covered in a weird moisture.

It was the mark of _Lamarque_.

"_Merde_," Enjolras said, "Is that...?"

Ferre stood up. "It is! _Connerie_, you got a letter form the League! You got a letter from Lamarque!" he said, his eyes widening, "That is so badass. Lamarque is legend. He rules the league with an iron fist. Open it! I want to hear the song!" He wasn't paying attention, he was rapidly opening the letter, and that's when the singing began. He had heard of Lamarque's letters, how his signature song would accompany the letters he wrote.

_Lamarque, the general of sin, has got the application that you just sent in. It needs evaluation, so let the games begin! A heinous crime, you must embark. A murder's nice, just a remark. The Evil League of Evil is watching, so beware. The grade that you receive will be the last, we swear! You're good to go, don't disembark, it's now or nothing! Signed, Lamarque._

"It's not a no." he heard Ferre.

"Are you kidding? This is great!" Enjolras exclaimed, "You know the wonderflonium I need for my Freeze Ray? It's being delivered tomorrow." He looked too excited. "Not even by armored car! It's just a carrier van."

Ferre grinned, happy for his friend. "Do you need anything dampened or made soggy?"

"Thanks, but," Enjolras replied, "The League is watching. I gotta do this alone."

* * *

It was easy enough to invent a piece of technology that would be able to control the van using his iPhone, not that he wanted to brag. He immediately saw the van from afar, crouching behind a garbage can in order for nobody to notice him.

Aside from the fact that the narrow streets were crowded, with people walking around, but everyone was too absorbed in their own business to even notice him. It was like taking candy from a baby. He threw the device that slightly resembled a cufflink into the air, as the piece of technology was able to dodge people's heads and land on the roof of the car. He turned on his phone and opened the App.

The word "connected" flashed across the screen in white. He saw the red blinking light coming from the device. Tentatively, he pressed the "gas" button.

Enjolras grinned when he heard the red, blinking light coming from the car. He stood up from his seat, and was tapped on the shoulder by someone all too familiar. She was wearing the same brown coat that was a tad too big for her, and a newsboy cap on her head. She had a smile on her face, so her dimples were very noticeable.

"I was wondering if you could–" she started, but stopped herself, "Hey! I know you!"

He couldn't help the smile that formed on his face. "Oh? You know me? Cool!" he said, a bit too enthusiastically for his liking. He bit his lip and restarted. "I mean, yeah, of course you do. Do you?"

"From the Musain...?"

_Every Monday, Wednesday and Saturday except those two times last month that you skipped the weekends. _Except he didn't say that, mostly because he didn't want to come off as a stalker. Not that he was, he just remembered these things. "Yeah, I've seen you." he said, "I mean, if that was you, I mean it could be someone else." He laughed awkwardly. "Gabe is my name. Gabriel, actually but–"

"I'm Éponine." she said.

"_Éponine et Sabinus_?" He couldn't help but say this.

She nodded. "My mom was a big fan of complicated names and tragic love stories." she shrugged, "Anyway, I was wondering if you could sign this. Out bullshit government is tearing down this building that could be used for a homeless shelter to help, well, the homeless."

The words _bullshit government _caught his attention. He gently pulled the clipboard towards him to see a page with only five signatures, counting her own. "No name for your organization yet?"

"Well, I don't want something like _Caring Hands _or something else just as corny, y'know?"

Enjolras was a quick thinker. "The Friends of the ABC." he replied immediately, "In French, _abaissé _means the lower and more unfortunate ones, so it would be a nice pun."

She arched an eyebrow, but soon broke out into a grin. "That's brilliant." she grabbed, the pen from his hand and quickly scribbled the name onto the blank line at the top of the paper. "Thank you, Gabriel." she said, "And I knew what _abaissé _means, by the way, I speak French."

"That's... nice." he said.

The atmosphere was too awkward after he signed the paper.

Then, he remembered the van. "I have to go." she said, and he thanked the world for this wonderful coincidence. "Obviously," she gestured to the clip board, "I need to find more signatures. I'll see you at the Musain, though?"

He nodded. "Okay."

It was then and there that Gabriel Enjolras decided that maybe Éponine wasn't so bad after all, but he didn't think of her again for a few moments, too distracted on controlling the van to get the wonderflonium.

Everything was perfectly going according to plan.

Then, _he _appeared. _Captain Marius._

Immediately, all innocent bystanders started to notice the heist that was going on. He landed perfectly on the roof of the van and crushed the red blinking light. Enjolras groaned in exasperation.

"Stand back everyone, nothing here to see!" Marius shouted, "Just imminent danger about to be stopped by me!" Maybe that was one of the reasons why Enjolras didn't like him. He was too arrogant. Nobody seemed to realize it though. Nobody seemed to realize that he was a hero with a bad personality.

He'd think of Éponine again a few seconds after that. He'd think of Éponine when he saw her in the path of the van.

He saw that Marius jumped in front of the van to stop it, and pushed her out the way first though thankfully, but Enjolras was already frantically pushing the break button. The van stopped and Enjolras let out a breath he didn't know he was holding in.

The villain ran towards the hero. "You idiot!" he said.

"Doctor Enjolras," Marius started, "I should have known it was you."

"You, you almost killed her!"

"I remember it differently." he said, and suddenly, in a rare turn of events, he felt Marius' hand around his neck, and it squeezed tightly, but it was immediately released when he heard a shuffling in the trash. _Of course_, Enjolras thought, _Marius had to throw her in the_ _trash_. He heard a cough as Éponine cleared her throat.

Marius was the first to speak, as Enjolras took this opportunity to steal the wonderflonium. "'Ponine?"

"_M'sieur _Marius!" she exclaimed, a smile stretching wide on her face, and a confusing expression in her eyes, up until Enjolras realized what it was. Love. It was then his judgement of her changed. In love with Captain Marius? Probably not a good choice for a friend. "I don't think I can explain how great it was that you stopped the van. I saw you, _m'sieur_, you stopped it with your bare hands!" Enjolras frowned as he lifted the case of wonderflonium, not looking at them anymore. The remote control was in his hand.

"I haven't seen you since–"

"Cosette moved." Realization dawned on Enjolras' face. _Cosette_! That was the name of Marius' girlfriend.

"Oh yeah." Marius replied, sounding a bit sad. It was known to everyone that Cosette Fauchelevant and Captain Marius had been very much in love with each other, they were always out together on dates, and were called the most romantic couple ever. "It's been forever. We should catch up soon. You're one of my best friends, 'Ponine, it would be a shame if we didn't stay in touch."

He heard a high pitched giggle. "Of course." she said, "You know where my apartment is."

Enjolras exited the van, the silver case of wonderflonium in hand as he walked back to his hideout.

"_Merde._"

* * *

**AN**: Hi! I'm Rebellicade, you can call me Bell or whatever you want to, really. In case anyone's wondering, this will be a three-shot, and the main pairing will be EÉM. By the way, (mah disclaimer) I own next to nothing in this fanfic. Review?

~rebellicade


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